How to Annoy Everyone at a Theme Park

Summer is rapidly approaching which means it is high time at theme parks, zoos, museums etc. You are spending at least $60 a person to get in the doors, you should get some extra enjoyment out of it by making everyone around you miserable. The basic method boils down to:

acting as if YOU are the only one in the entire park.

 

Some ways you can do this:

• Fumble for money for parking when you are at the toll booth then ask the attendant lots of questions, people behind you be damned
• Hold up traffic (again) by asking the people directing traffic more questions, because who knows the people working outside of the park might actually have some knowledge of what is going on inside the park.
• Take up multiple parking spaces, your car is nicer than everyone elses and you need the extra space to get all of your gear out.
• Walk down the center of the lane in the parking lot so no cars can get around you
• Ask the person checking bags a bunch of questions (they just love to answer "what are you doing?" 400-500 times an hour). Or grumble loudly "in my day things were safer and we didn't have to go through this nonsense. if it weren't for those---" {insert politically incorrect derogatory term}.
• Buy your tickets then put them away before you get to the gates so you have to go through all of your belongings to find them again.

<sheesh, we haven't even gotten in the gates yet and look at all of those annoyed faces around you!>

• Stop in the middle of any walkway or doorway with your entire party blocking all access to everyone else - the narrower the better. Get offended if someone politely asks you to let them by.
• Let your kid run around the park without any supervision, YOUR kid would never climb on things they aren't supposed to, or try to damage park property or terrorize little kids.
• Wait until your kid is screaming bloody murder then decide to get food (particularly fun if you are in the middle of a show at the time)
• Wait until you are at the front of the line to decide what your entire party wants to eat. Don't know? shout them down 25 feet away or call them on your phone. Asking lots of questions that are posted on the menu board is always a nice touch.
• Dump your trash all over the park. Someone else gets PAID to clean that up, right? Just doing your part to support the local economy.
• Change your kids diaper in the middle of the park and just leave it there. Someone else gets PAID to clean that up, right?
• Line jump. Why should you wait 2 hours to get on the Sky Tower like everyone else?
• Threaten your kid to leave the park if they don't do what you want and then fail to follow through when they continue their behavior.
• Come into a show late, talk to your group or on your phone in a loud voice. You are far more entertaining than any show.
• Complain about prices where ever you go.
• Insult, make derisive remarks, etc. about park employees and fellow patrons.

Ok, that's all I can come up with at the moment. I know you have more, especially if you have worked at a theme park. So let's have your additions. What else do people do at theme parks that make you want to go berserk?