Have you seen this poem floating around the net based on Laura Numeroff’s book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”? (click on it to view larger)
I had one of those mornings yesterday. Normally, Wednesday is my coffee morning – therapy with my girlfriends solving all of the world’s problems over a cup of joe. But due to a crappy night sleep and trying to stave of a cold I took a pass and decided I’d be better off staying home and taking nap.
Then I remembered some Facebook wisdom:
Cleaning a house with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
The carpet really needed to be steam cleaned and I had five kid free hours. Plus it was a warm day so it would dry quickly.
Hhmm, better sweep the kitchen and entry floors first because then we’d just be tracking stuff on my clean carpets. And they could use a mop too.
Okay, on to vacuuming the carpet. Rats. I forgot to empty the canister and clean the filter the last time I vacuumed. Oh no, I did not just dump the dirt on the freshly cleaned kitchen floor. I’ll just swap out the filter and vacuum it up. Back to the carpet.
But first I have to pick up all the pillows, magnetic letters, trains, cars, hats, shoes, blankets, animals, cones, books, etc. Phew, now I can vacuum.
Vacuum away, steam cleaner out. Aaaugh! why are there spools of thread all over the floor in here. Little Man, how many times do I have to ask you to stay out of the Closet of Doom? Thread rewound and put away, steam cleaner out.
Now to find the Soylent Green. Well, that’s what I used to call it when my Dad bought it years ago. He used something called Agent Orange before that, and then switched to Simple Green. Hey, when you are a very well read smart aleck teenager it is funny.
I’d use plain old vinegar if I had a choice, but somehow I know when hubby comes home in 11 hours, despite the floor being dry and having fans running and windows open all day, he’d still complain about the smell. And hey, after working for 11 hours, you deserve to not walk in the door and be overwhelmed by a smell you hate (no matter how faint it is).
Filled up the tank, put it in, plugged in the cleaner, started it up and cleaning time. Shouldn’t the carpet be getting wet? Grr! Why isn’t the water coming out? Water switch is working, water seems to be going into the tube, but it isn’t coming out. Let me just take the sprayer off and clean it out.
Off to the garage to find a screwdriver, which luckily was right where it was supposed to be. Undid the two screws and started to slide the sprayer out. Voice in my head screamed STOP! So I did, because I listen to the voices in my head. Well, sometimes, when they aren’t whiney or telling me to do something stupid like “step away from the carrot cake”. Taking off that sprayer probably wasn’t going to solve my problem and would be a pain to try to get back on. How about just poking the holes with a pin?
Back to the Closet of Doom, rummage under all of those spools of thread I just picked up for a straight pin. Poke, poke, poke, etc. Put down the pin, pick up the screwdriver and reattach the sprayer. Hunt for pin in the carpet. At least I found it with my hand and not my foot. Screwdriver and pin put away in their proper places. Turn the machine on again and … we have water! Yippee.
Now the carpet is getting nice and wet, but the water isn’t getting sucked up. Oops, forgot to latch it down all the way. Where is the second latch? Back to the Closet of Doom AGAIN! Put latch on upside down, growl, flip it over and lock into place.
Finally, everything is going smoothly. Cleaner tank empty, dirty tank full. Time to dump the dirty water and get more cleaner. Drip drop drip drop drip drop splash all the way across my freshly cleaned kitchen floor to the sink. Oh no, really! the sink is full of breakfast dishes. Too bad! they need to go in the dishwasher anyway.
It took six tanks, three with cleaner and three plain water, but now the carpet is spot free. Finally, nap time!
But you know, I suddenly have a craving for blueberry muffins…but first I have to empty the kitchen sink and remop the floor.