So you want to know what it's like parenting a child with Autism

I don't write a great deal about parenting a child on the Autism Spectrum. Some days it is just parenting. Others days it is a monumental suckfest. If you have a friend or family member that is parenting a child on the spectrum, you might want to understand what it is like. Speaking on behalf of other parents of children on the spectrum: we love you, but you will never understand. Unless you live with it 24/7 you can never truly understand. But, here is a small glimpse into my life as an Autism mom.

Please do not tell me we are blessed or special or God has chosen us.

I know you mean well, but it is annoying and not the least bit comforting.

Before you ask "Have you tried.." or "Can't you just..." or " I read an article..." or "I have a friend..."

Some days it is like this...

And some days it is like this. Especially with our Triennial IEP coming up next month.

I'd love to sit and chat with you, but...

Don't get me started on the subject of food.

Please do not tell me I am "catering to my child".

"Give me some choices." and he doesn't like any of them. Or says yes then refuses to eat it.

turnips in the mashed potatoes? beets in the chocolate cake? whatever do you mean?

Try as you might, only Autism parents truly understand...

Everyone: "How was Spring Break?" Me, "Loud".

We love you, you will always be our family or friend. But sometimes we need the solidarity that only comes from someone else in the trenches.

I do not presume to speak for every Autism parent because:

Personally, I don't want your sympathy or praise. It might make you feel better, but it annoys me no end.

There are some things you will not understand if you haven't experienced it. There are plenty of things I can't understand because I have never experienced them.

If you want to understand anything, understand if I am in the midst of the lowest of the lows I am probably going to ignore you. I probably won't want to talk about. It has nothing to do with you. There are times when my child needs 200% of my attention and energy and I have nothing left to give anyone.

I'd love to make plans and keep them. I'd like to be able to go to an event and be able to enjoy it and stay for the whole thing. But it doesn't always work out that way. It isn't you. It isn't me. It isn't him. It is just our reality.

But, most importantly, I want you all to understand.